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February 18, 2008

Stuck in a mommy moment

I am such a sap these days. Maddie can barely hiccup without me just about bursting into tears, trying to drag her in for hugs and kisses while she fights and squirms to get away. If she could handle multiple syllables or sentence form I am sure she would say, "Mom, you are SO embarrassing." She doesn't need to say it, though, I swear I see that look in her eyes sometimes.

Decgranvilleisle_3Before you say it or even think it, I am definitely not pregnant. Bite your tongue! No, I think my sudden sentimentality can be blamed on her rapidly approaching birthday. Or maybe it's just an outburst of gratitude that we have (knock on wood) not yet succumbed to those terrible twos.

All I know is that I am pathetically, obsessively, and rather unexpectedly, completely in love with my daughter. She is at this miraculous age where everything impresses her: butterflies, bubbles, fig newtons, garbage bags. All of them are met with wide-eyed wonder and fits of glee. We walk to the mailbox and have to stop every two steps to marvel over a fallen leaf, a telephone pole, an abandoned Slurpee straw.

Funny thing is, even though we move through our days at her turtle pace it suddenly seems that time is passing at warp speed. I am torn between wanting to slow it down and wanting to find out where we're going, to see who she is becoming. What I really want is just to capture this time. I want to write it down, swallow it whole, press it between the pages of an old and heavy book. I want to have it somewhere so that days, months, years from now I can look back and remember every last detail. Her crooked, toothy smile, her diving bedtime hugs, her tragic, down-turned, pouty little mouth; the way she tugs at her ears when she's thinking hard, or how she falls to the floor in shrieks of laughter as her Daddy tries to find the funniest of all her funny bones. If only memories could be perfectly preserved; jarred up and stored away to be opened when we need them most.

Sorry for making you join me as I wade through my sentimental mush today. I guess every once in a while even I can see beyond the mounting diapers and debt, the mundane of the daily routine, and know how truly blessed I am.

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Comments

Awwww! That was so sweet! I've been feeling the same way lately. I can't believe our babies are going to be 2!

Posted by: Bobbi Lynn | Feb 18, 2008 3:57:48 PM

Me too. I'm such a sap! I watched Mase sleep for about 10 minutes last night. (sigh)
BTW, I could read your writing all day :)

Posted by: Leanne | Feb 18, 2008 7:03:54 PM

This is my favorite of your blogs. Its an absolute masterpiece, and I wish I had writen something like that myself. Im just gonna copy it. Dont tell my daughter its not original material, ok?

Posted by: michelle | Feb 18, 2008 9:33:13 PM

What a great post. Someday, when Maddie is all grown up, you'll have to print this whole blog, and bind it into a book for her. What a great tribute to her childhood.

Posted by: Rebekah | Feb 19, 2008 8:08:45 AM

you are such an amazing mother carolyn! maddie is so lucky! you have again, made me cry! i haven't missed one post since you started...what a wonderful journey! & you've captured it all in writing! you have your "jar of memories" right in these pages! & i agree with leanne. i too could read your writing all day long! you are really an amazing writer! love ya!

Posted by: brandee | Feb 19, 2008 8:46:37 AM

What a beautiful blog--you have me all teared up. I will warn you that having another one only makes the first one seem that much bigger and older.

You have such an amazing talent for words Care. Really, this is a beautiful heartfelt post. I love it:)

Posted by: Barbara | Feb 19, 2008 10:16:01 AM

oh my you made me cry on this one!! I think the same with solenne, and you will have a great memory book to pull from with your blog, i wish i could say the same :)

Posted by: Kristine | Feb 19, 2008 10:58:26 AM

Oh Care that is beautiful! Life passes us by so fast and it is so important to capture those wonderful moments with our children!! Thanks for starting my day off on a grateful note!

Posted by: Melissa | Feb 20, 2008 9:20:32 AM

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"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for." ~Jerry Seinfeld.

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