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November 24, 2008

Hola, mi nombre es Confused

I sat at the dinner table with Mads tonight as she pretended to eat her spaghetti, pushing it around on her plate and separating the ingredients into two distinct categories: "I don't like this" (pasta, mushrooms, green peppers, tomatoes) and "I like this" (parmesan cheese and salt).

We were talking about dessert, which is her favourite thing to talk about while she pretends to eat dinner. Specifically, we were talking about chocolate, which is what I told her she would get if she ate three more bites.

Before I knew it - and long before the three bite threshold was met, might I add - she started freaking out. She was saying something repeatedly, though I had no clue what it was, each time more urgent than the last, each time one step closer to tears. Tears we try hard to avoid around here, because once they start there's no going back. The sobbing turns to fake crying - is there anything that drives you crazier than the fake crying?? - which lasts for what seems to be an eternity.

In the end, after a half dozen or so wrong guesses, I finally got it right. She was telling me to speak in Spanish. Like Dora. Spanish? I grew up in a Canadian suburb. Spanish isn't exactly my mother tongue.

Me: "Say it in Spanish? You want me to speak Spanish?"
Mads: "Yeah, you say it in Spanish."
Me: "Um... I don't know very much Spanish, Mads. Mommy doesn't speak Spanish."
Mads: (singing): "I speak Spanish, and English too. I like them both. How about you?... You say it in Spanish, Mommy."

It's hard not to feel like an idiot when a 2-year-old is disappointed in your language skills. So I told her I would practice and get back to her. That, coupled with the chocolate, seemed to satisfy her. For now.

The alphabet I expected. Simple arithmetic, sure. But mastering entire languages? Motherhood really is a tough gig.

November 24, 2008 | Permalink

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Comments

Care-3 things...
First, Mads eats spaghetti exactly the same way as Ben.
Second, I'm glad that I am not the only one using the bites/bribe method of getting food into their 2 and a half year old.
Third, try just speaking in a really high squeeky voice, really rapidly. Make sure it is completely unintellegible. It will sound just like when Dora speaks Spanish. Mads will never know the difference.

Posted by: Rebekah | Nov 25, 2008 8:42:04 AM

That is a tough one!!!!

I am still thinking learning to speak Spanish is easier than trying to get her to eat dinner - well it would be in our house anyway :)

Posted by: Laura | Nov 25, 2008 10:36:10 AM

I was trying to think of something sarcastic and witty to say, but all I can think of is this..... hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Posted by: KelsyC | Nov 25, 2008 11:04:20 AM

The Dictator usually eats his dinner OK but stops after 4 bites. Then it is my personal job ( and never Dad's) to keep shoveling the food into him while bribing him with sips of my 'beer' (ginger ale) to get him eating.

Also? Are our children connected somehow? The Dictator has taken to telling me that a pickle in french is 'Les Cornichons' I actually had to go look at the jar to see if he was right.

He was. He is 25 months old how do they learn this shit?

Posted by: Sleepynita | Nov 25, 2008 3:52:27 PM

Mine is 5 yrs old and it doesn't change. Still separates his food, still becomes frustrated with my increasingly apparent stupidity. But now he has picked up my habit of speaking slowly and enunciating in order to get the point across.

Posted by: Christina | Nov 25, 2008 8:09:47 PM

I am so glad I am not the only one who bribes my kids to eat. I give chocolate as well and with fabulous success since Wyatt will eat broccoli and green beans. Woo hoo.

Posted by: Julia | Nov 25, 2008 8:51:55 PM

Wow, I am so glad to see that this is a normal way for kids to eat spaghetti, separating the actual food bits from the condiments. Whew. Thanks!

Rebekah - We are huge fans of bribery around here. Basically every sentence follows the same pattern: "IF you do this, THEN you get this." Whatever works!

Posted by: Carolyn | Nov 25, 2008 8:55:33 PM

el sacapuntas , the pencil sharpener.

it's the only thing i really remember from high school spanish.

that and "mi casa es verde"

IE: my house is green

sure to come in handy.

am I the only one who NEVER understands what Dora is saying, because my kids seem to get it?

Posted by: Treemama | Nov 26, 2008 8:12:44 PM

necessary Spanish:

bueno -- good
chocolate - "choc-o-lat-ay"

Posted by: MaryOliverHa! | Dec 1, 2008 7:33:05 PM