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January 13, 2009

Life or something like it

What do you miss most about your pre-baby days? Sleeping in past the break of dawn? Shaving your legs on a regular basis? A stomach that doesn’t require its own zip code? Never having to sit through an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba?

All good options. But me, I miss the movies. F would often work weekends back before Mads was born, and I’d happily fill the free days holed up in a dark theatre with a good flick and a giant box of Junior Mints. But now going to the movies is a very rare treat – and I’ve traded in my Junior Mints for sugar-free Spearmint Trident. Ah, the things we give up for our kids and our desperate need to squeeze back into those size 8 pants.

Anyways. The Golden Globes were on this past weekend and I realized I hadn’t seen a single nominated film. Travesty. So I left F on Daddy duty and hauled ass to the Cineplex for a Sunday showing of Revolutionary Road.

I would definitely recommend it, but be forewarned: This is not the Kate and Leo of Titanic days gone by. There are no declarations of love under starry skies, no cheesey moments on the bow of a steamship. It’s a hard, intense, exhausting film. And it leaves you with all sorts of deep thoughts and tough questions.

The foremost being: Have you ended up where you thought you would? Back before your babies, before you had a house to keep and bills to pay and tiny little toes to kiss, what did you dream of doing? Where did you think life would take you? Maybe you were going to have an important job, meet important people. Maybe you were going to find that one, great love. Maybe you were going to find peace in motherhood. Maybe you were going to change the world.

I thought I was going to be Prime Minister. Or a lawyer. Or a writer. Oh, and there was also a brief period where I was convinced I had a bright future in hairdressing. Needless to say, I became none of those things. Instead I work a job that I like in a cubicle that could use some sprucing up. I have a family I love and an old house that needs more attention than I can give it. I have a truckload of things to be grateful for and a tiny drawer where I keep my regrets and what ifs? tucked away.

When you feel sure you'll go on to do great things it's quite the shock to wake up one day and realize you're... kind of average. But then, who’s to say there’s not greatness in this life? In being kind and doing good and having a laugh and raising a wonderful kid? It could well be that this is the big life we were destined to live.

How about you? Are you where you thought you’d be?

January 13, 2009 | Permalink

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Comments

Lets just say, I'm not where I thought I would be but I am definately somewhere I like being!

Posted by: Kelsy | Jan 13, 2009 11:25:14 AM

I just bought the book - like you, I figure it's going to take an act of Congress (and since when did they get it right?) for me to make it to the picture show.

I adore going by myself. My Hubs thinks that's weird. I think it's pure indulgence.

As far as landing where I thought I would be - I always wanted to be a SAHM, so I guess I got that right. I just didn't realize the things that would fill that little drawer.

I get you.

Average is the new AWESOME!

Posted by: Em | Jan 13, 2009 3:30:59 PM

Wonderful post Care. I needed a little inspiring this morning. And ironically the FIRST thing I thought of when I got out of bed this morning is that the thing I miss most about life before kids is sleeping in late and then going out to breakfast!

Posted by: Bea | Jan 14, 2009 4:41:32 AM

another great post! you may not be a prime minister care, but you ARE a writer...an amazing writer! and i know i'm not alone when i say you make my days that much better by sharing your life with us!

Posted by: brandee | Jan 14, 2009 5:43:12 PM

I love this post because I think about the issue all the time. I have had quite a number of forks in the road where I have made life changing desicions. Overall- I think Im pretty happy- but once in a while PMS tries to convince me otherwise.

Posted by: michelle Hays | Jan 14, 2009 8:05:58 PM

Ah, I heart you girls. This was a random, wandering post so I'm glad you knew what I was talking about. :)

Michelle - Lol! I think I was PMS'ing when I wrote this!

Em - I picked up the book too. Even though I know the ending. I hope you like it!

Posted by: Carolyn | Jan 14, 2009 9:25:30 PM

I miss the movies too! Was in a discussion the other day about movies but with all childless people - when they asked "have you seen it" - and my answer was constantly NO they stopped asking me *sigh*

I actually cant remember what I wanted to be to be honest - how sad is THAT!

Posted by: laura | Jan 14, 2009 10:13:49 PM

i seem to see movies a year after they come out on dvd. i am always so behind.

divorce this year has sent my sense of "self" spinning, but it's kind of fun to rediscover yourself at 36 years.

Posted by: treemama | Jan 17, 2009 7:11:39 PM