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January 14, 2010

See, I told you so

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My facebook BFFs will have already heard this one, but it is a perfect illustration of my state of mind these days so I had to share.

A couple of nights ago I left F to deal with Mads, even though he's been on his deathbed with a brutal cold for the better part of a week, so that I could go shopping. As I was leaving she was tugging on his sickly self and saying, "Do something with me!" When she says that she doesn't mean read me a story or sing me a soothing lullaby, she means chuck me in the air or balance me on the flat of your palm or toss me over your shoulder and run around the house like a crazed banshee. During these scenarios I call out the occasional warning and wait for the bump of a head against the wall, which of course happens every time. What is it about dads and kids and inevitable head trauma? While they're doing these treacherous things she'll tauntingly call out to me, "Do you like this, Mommy?" because they both know very well that I do not like it. "Ooh, Mommy doesn't like this, Daddy. Don't worry Mommy, we'll be careful!" And then they both laugh hysterically because Mommy is such a lame loser that she doesn't appreciate the awesomeness of a childhood concussion.

Anyways, this is what was happening as I left to go to the mall. Forty minutes, two baby shower gifts and a $12.99 clearance top later I was gathering my bags at the till.

"Good night," said the monotone girl working the checkout.

"Sweet dreams," I replied like an insane person.

WTF? Sweet dreams? Uggghh.

Then the next morning at work I managed to lose my lunch (not as in barf, as in I have no recollection of where I put the full tupperware container) in between my desk and the office fridge. It's still missing. I'm waiting for the stench to hit so that I can track it down.

Honestly, I don't see how I'm going to make it through the next 3 months without causing serious harm to myself or others.

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January 14, 2010 | Permalink

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Comments

I love pregnancy brain! Classic. :)

Posted by: Erin | Jan 14, 2010 12:57:53 PM

Don't feel so bad -- one of my coworkers said "nighty-night" to us all the other day. She has a 5 year old and 2 year old twins.

Posted by: Suzanne | Jan 14, 2010 1:10:32 PM

I have a co-worker who one day said,"I love you" to a customer as she hung up the phone. And her kids were in middle school at the time. I swear baby brain never fully leaves!

Posted by: Rebekah | Jan 14, 2010 2:42:57 PM

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"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for." ~Jerry Seinfeld.

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