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June 30, 2011

Time keeps on ticking

Right now I'm listening to 'Landslide,' the Dixie Chicks version, and crying. There's just something about this song. Every time I hear it I'm done, sobbing like an idiot.

But then, maybe I'm just quick to tears these days. It's been a hard couple of weeks. My grandma died on the weekend. It wasn't sudden, I guess, but it seemed that way, and came just as we were all trying to wrap our heads around a different family tragedy. It's strange, isn't it? No matter how prepared you think you are, no matter how clearly you see it inching closer, death always seems to come as a surprise. An entire day passed before it struck me that I have no grandparents left.

I suddenly feel very conscious of the passing of time.

I can see it in my Mads, in her changing face and long, lean limbs. I can see it in the way she chews on the ends of her hair, in the way she has little time left for bluebirds and ladybugs. I can see it in my sweet baby A, who is becoming less of a baby every day. Sometimes it seems as though the days are racing by us.

Things are framed by sadness at the moment, but through it I see how lucky I am: For all the memories already made and all those yet to come.

care xo

(pic: Granny & Mads)

June 30, 2011 | Permalink

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Comments

Oh, Carolyn. I'm so sorry. <3 What a sweet picture of the two of them!

Posted by: Erin | Jul 5, 2011 7:32:53 PM

So sorry for your loss. :( I too am "grandparentless" and do wish my girls actually got to meet my grampa.

Posted by: Shannon | Jul 5, 2011 10:03:17 PM

deep thoughts

"One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it."