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September 06, 2011

School days

I spent last night, the night before Mads' very first day of kindergarten, poring over old photographs. I meant to be in bed by 10:30, but it was almost midnight by the time I finally dragged myself away, wiping tears aside with the back of my hand.

I really didn't think it would be this hard. After all, I've been desperate for her to get to this point. I just wanted her to be a little bit older, a little bit more independent, a little bit less... turbulent. And now we're here and I suddenly just want it all to stop. I know the day will come when she won't want to curl herself against me on the couch, when she won't need me to tuck her in, to count stars in the summer sky, to play pirates or princess or "homeless girl" (it's a new one... don't ask). I just don't want it to come too fast.

I'm proud of us, though. I'm so, so proud of her, my Mads. She's come so far these past couple of years. The girl who cried and cowered when even the closest of family and friends approached her now meets them with her head held high, a conversation already started as soon as they walk through the door. She's lovely and earnest and good in ways I can't even begin to explain.

And I'm proud of myself, too, because somehow, despite it all, I had something to do with that.

Go get 'em, baby girl. xo

September 6, 2011 | Permalink

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Comments

what a great 5 years it's been! i'm just so blessed we got to be a part of it!! happy 1st day of school mads!!

Posted by: brandee | Sep 7, 2011 6:32:49 PM

deep thoughts

"One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it."