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July 25, 2012

Mommy? Mom? Mom? Mama? Mommy? Mom?

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I could tell you all about life with baby A. these days, I could tell you stories of playgrounds (fun), potty training (not happening) and Yo Gabba Gabba marathons (I have DJ Lance nightmares). Or I could just show you what it's like, really give you a chance to walk 30 thrilling seconds in my $4 flip flops.

Brace yourselves for the ride of your life...

 

At home, in the car, at the mall, at the park, from her crib, over dinner, in the bath, in my dreams. It never stops.

"Yes, A? A, Yes. I hear you. I know, A. Mommy knows, A. What is it, A? Sshh, A. Yes. Yes, I know, A. What, A? What? Yes, what? A? What? Yes, A? A!"

And then, out of earshot, a desperate whisper as I leave the room: "Oh my god, please just stop."

I love the girl to bits, but I'm going to lose my f'ing mind. For real, as Mads would say.

Speaking of Mads, I vaguely remember her going through this phase as well. This repetitive, incessant, never-ending, somebody-please-hammer-a-spike-into-my-brain phase. But somehow A's is just that much more intense, that much LOUDER, that much more likely to sap my will to live. Or maybe I'm just older and crankier now.

The last one is a definite possibility. I recently started listening to talk radio instead of Top 40. Damn kids and their rock and roll music. If I'm not mistaken, that's the very first box on the "Are you an old person?" checklist. Tick.

Whatever the reason, this is our life these days. A. starting an extremely urgent conversation that goes absolutely nowhere 100,000 times every single day and me investing in a Costco-size case of earplugs.

I warned you: Thrilling.

Did your kids go through this phase? Remind me: When does it end?

July 25, 2012 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for." ~Jerry Seinfeld.

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