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February 28, 2008

Mommy needs a margarita

Feb_play_1_2This time last week I was all caught up in a glorious mommy moment. Today I'm looking for the nearest bridge. Motherhood, in a nutshell.

Mads is killing me. I wonder if she has come down with a personality disorder. I hear those are going around. But no, I suspect it is just your typical case of toddleritis. Vibrating with happiness one moment, sinking into a tragic puddle of sadness the next. As a friend of mine would say, she flips the switch pretty fast. Her inconsolable, gasping, tear-streaked face would be enough to break your heart, if it was in response to something other than her Baby Einstein movie ending, or the fact that her mean mommy only gave her two cookies instead of six. Truth be told, a lot of the time I have absolutely no idea what it's about, and it doesn't take long for my cluelessness to royally piss her off. Is she hungry? Is she bored? Is she worried about the Texas primary? All are equally possible. Your guess is as good as mine.

She has also instituted a rule whereby anybody within a 1-block radius must have 100% of their attention focussed on her at all times. Friends have stopped calling because they know they'll have to shout over Maddie's cries of "No! Mommy! Noooooooo!!!!" in the background. And don't think you can trick her. God forbid you think about your tax return while she is stacking plastic beer cups for the 14th time that day. She has some sort of psychic sixth sense; even if you are staring attentively she knows the instant your mind has wandered. And she'll let you know that she knows. Loudly.

Life has become like that episode of The Family Guy. This one. That the same little word I spent months desperately waiting for is now making me lose my mind. The irony doesn't escape me. The best - and by best, I of course mean worst - is in the car, where there are no distractions and no way out. She spends our drives singing, but demands her captive audience.

Mads: "Mommy? Mommeeee? MOM-"
Me: "Yes, hon?"
Mads: "Wee woe wa woe weee!"
Me: "Oh, Ring around the rosy! Good girl!"
Mads: "Mommy? Mommeeee? MOM-"
Me: "Yes, Maddie?"
Mads: "Wee woe wa woe weee!"
Repeat, ad nauseum

I admit, it is the cutest thing you've ever heard the first 54 times. By 55 it starts to wear a bit thin. The girl needs some new material.

But that's just today. Talk to me tomorrow and I'll be serenely floating on a sea of maternal bliss, I'm sure. Maybe I'm the one with the personality disorder.

(I wanted to thank you girls for your sweet sentiments on the last post, and the MOMformation one, too. Whatever the reason you keep coming back here, I'm glad you do.)

February 28, 2008 | Permalink


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Hate to tell you Care but Claire is almost 4 and we are still going through it. The best is when I walk out the front door first and she yells, "Mommy NOOOOOOO, I wanted to go first!!!" I can read minds! Girls ;-)

Posted by: Melissa | Feb 28, 2008 9:55:35 AM

Nice new digs you have here. So why did you switch? I feel like Type Pad is a fresher look, where the content is ours and we can manipulate photos more. But is it worth the hassle? How long will this take me to do what you did? Can ya leave me some answers here or at my home blog? Or heck - anywhere. Cute kid there!

Posted by: mama p | Feb 28, 2008 11:19:59 AM

Hi Caroline - Read your last post on MOMformation and then clicked over here later. What a wonderful job you did on the PPD essay!

You are a wonderful writer - nicely flowing sentences, witty content. It's an enjoyable read. Just wanted to say hello. I have two boys, 4 and 6, and a fourteen month old girl. She is already more complicated than her brothers, but very thoughtful in ways they aren't. Take care.

Posted by: Pam | Feb 28, 2008 6:08:24 PM

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"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for." ~Jerry Seinfeld.

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